Diabetes makes your brain bigger…..

Ok so just back from a normal morning of getting up past the alarm, finding the 17 year old son was going to school late so I had to take the 11 year old instead of him, getting myself, the 11 year old and the 2 year old ready to go out the door, battling rush hour to get the 11 year old to school, pulling into the truck lane to get to the shops to do the weekly food shopping before the man coming to fix the air conditioner calls to say he is on the way ( as of course I have nothing to do in my day and can happily sit around waiting all day until he comes, coz they can’t give you a precise time they are coming – more fool me I forgot their lives are SOOO much busier than mine), and get to the shops, toddler in the trolley- check; green bags for shopping – check; shopping list – check….oh oh….blood glucose – yep you got it – check! Of course I am now hypo, standing in the aisle about to start shopping, toddler ready to go, people wondering why I have a little machine ( is it a pager??) and am pricking my finger at 9 am on a Friday morning in Foodland.

So a few lollies later and a little moment and I am off and running again. Now here is the thing, is it motherhood that makes me able to multi task like this? Yes I think it is. But I also think that diabetes actually grows our brains bigger. Now this is not based on any scientific research, papers from experts, or sitting through one of the many diabetes conferences I have attended since starting work in diabetes a decade ago. Nope, this is based on pure experience – of my life and observation of the many thousands of people with diabetes I have had the pleasure of talking to over the years.

Is it only me or does it seem people with diabetes fit a very large amount of additional thinking, considering, debating, deciding, correcting and worrying in our day, than those without diabetes? The above scenario is just one of hundreds that happen each and every day for a person with diabetes. I have also noticed that people with diabetes, in particular those who grow up with type 1 diabetes, are high achievers. It seems we get things done!

I think that having to consider so many things in every day, not being as carefree as others, thinking about your body and the impact of all the choices we make, as well as dealing with the roller coaster, the worries and fears, the hassles and sadness that can come along, make our brains open to so much more than people who don’t have to think about these things. We know our bodies and we know what it is like to feel like you have not got control of your body. A hypo is something you can not possibly understand unless you have experienced it….we can try to explain it, but I don’t believe it can ever be relayed properly how scary it can be during a hypo. This alone is an extra worry that can mess with your brain.

So if anyone ever says that diabetes can make your memory go, can lessen your capacity to do a task, or carry out a job, or be responsible for something – that is total rubbish. I guarantee  you that when they woke up, ate without even thinking about the carb content of their breakfast, showered and cruised off for the day, their brain had done less than half what a person with diabetes would have done – and I rest my case. But I am saying this in a positive light – we get to have bigger brains! And you know what, what matters in life is that you have the gift of having a life – that a life well lived is all it is about, diabetes or not. So grab your blood glucose monitor, dial up your insulin pen, check the carbs in that piece of cake and feel proud that you are in fact growing your brain!

Meditation is not just for hippies!

Deep relaxation and meditation are very natural and very powerful activities.

Meditation is the method of bringing a scattered, disorganised mind into a state of peace, quiet and tranquillity. It is about focus and calmness. You might wonder how you manage that when you have to fit a few dozen blood glucose checks or more in a week; multiple injections or pump changes and bolus corrections; navigate medication mazes; and deal with the usual run of the mill tasks of daily life! I know that every tiny little moment of checking my blood or changing my set comes as an interruption in my busy life running 2 diabetes services and looking after 3 healthy boys! Time is of the essence and I have also had people tell me that the 10 seconds they need to stop and check their blood glucose becomes a chore – you would not think 10 seconds would feel like that – but it can and it does.

Taking time out for relaxation, activitites that make you feel grounded and calm and even meditation, can really help. These things help us to realise that life is about the here and now; that the things we worry about, that we can not predict and that are not here right now, and may never even happen – do not matter so much, so we can put those worries away somewhere and enjoy being in the moment. It also helps you to realise that we need to treasure each and every day we have.

The word meditation, is derived from two Latin words : meditari (to think, to dwell upon, to exercise the mind) and mederi (to heal).

You might think meditation is a worship or prayer. But it is not this.

A focus is used, such as a candle flame, a Mantra or the rhythm of the natural breath. During mediation it is normal for our mind to wander off again and again, but you learn to gently bring your mind back to the subject of concentration.  In this way, Meditation means awareness. Whatever you do with awareness is meditation. “Watching your breath” is meditation; listening to the birds is meditation. As long as these activities are free from any other distraction to the mind, it is effective meditation.

When you live with diabetes and the every day stress of life, mediation can be an effective way of calming your mind and giving you focus. It can help you to feel more peaceful and more able to keep managing on a day to day basis.

Traditionally, yoga describes that to achieve true states of meditation you must go through several stages. Commonly today, people can mean any one of these stages when they refer to the term meditation. Some people learn only concentration techniques, some relaxation and so on. There are many misconceptions concerning meditation. However all forms of meditating, where we are focusing and calming our minds, can have great benefits for overall health and wellbeing.

Methods such as “Mindfulness Meditation” are being used by doctors and a range of health professionals in managing illness and disease, anxiety and depression.

Meditation has three stages: one, Concentration, two, Contemplation, and three, Meditation (the state reached when the meditator is no longer aware of meditating). For health purposes, it is enough to reach a state where the mind is quiet and steady, the respiration calm and balanced, and the feeling is that of deep peace. With regular practice, this may be achieved, greatly benefiting the overall mental and emotional state.

You can purchase many tapes and CD´s , books, videos and DVD´s to teach you how to meditate in way that suits you. Many people find breathing techniques one of the easiest ways to meditate.

Sometimes the stress of dealing with diabetes can feel more difficult than the disease itself. Meditation is a simple, easy-to-learn tool that can help you feel more in control even when facing the life-changing challenge of diabetes. Meditation is highly effective at calming stress, and has been found to lower blood sugar levels and blood pressure, improve eating disorders and fend off the tendency toward depression and poor sleep so often associated with diabetes.

Mindfulness meditation, where you simply follow your breath and sensations arising in the body with curiosity and appreciation, without trying to change anything, soothes the nervous system and directly improves the symptoms of diabetes. A study, published in the American Journal of Cardiology, found that meditation lowers blood pressure.

Mindfulness meditation assists with depression and sleep. Mindfulness meditation improves your coping skills. Researchers at the University of Louisville found that mindfulness meditation soothed depression in study participants, while another study conducted by the University of Kentucky found that transcendental meditation (TM), in which participants work with a mantra, or repeated sound, word or phrase, helped people sleep better. A study at Indiana State University found that mindfulness meditation helped obese women cut down their weekly binge-eating episodes from 4 to 1, thus reducing their risk for developing metabolic syndrome and diabetes.

Meditation is an effective stress reducer. Constant stress wears down the body and compromises health, not a good thing for anyone managing diabetes. Your adrenal glands respond to stress signals from the hypothalamus and pituitary by releasing the fight-or-flight hormones adrenaline, which increases your heart rate and raises blood pressure, and cortisol, which takes sugar stored in the fat and liver and puts it into the blood, thus raising blood sugar levels.

Under normal conditions these stress-activated hormones are protective, surging momentarily to assist the body in coping with stress, then things return to normal and the adrenals move into rest-and-restore mode. When stress becomes chronic, though, it is as if the adrenaline switch is stuck in the “on” position. Cortisol surges in the body and puts you at risk for all kinds of health problems, including heart disease, insomnia, depression, central obesity and diabetes. The benefits of meditation are cumulative: the more often you practice, the more adept you will be at shifting your focus to healthful states. Meditation can be practiced anywhere; it doesn’t require any special equipment — just a willingness to sit quietly and notice what is happening in your body without judging it or trying to change it: awareness alone helps to improve your health. Find a time and place where you won’t be disturbed to begin a practice. Start with 10-15 minutes and work up to 30-40 minutes.

Ahhhhhh take a deep breath; prick your finger; have your insulin; take another breath and treasure the day.

🙂

The battle of the fat – survivor vs designer

As a long term “diabetic” “person with type 1 diabetes” “pancreatically challenged person” or whatever you may like to call it, I have also battled a life long war with weight….I am one of those lucky people who got not only the gene that led to type 1 diabetes and other autoimmune problems, but the “fat” gene – lucky old me.  I am wondering how many more of me there are out there? I imagine there are many of you.

🙂

This has meant that at various times of my life I have been slightly pudgy ( a good term for a 10 year old girl with “puppy fat”), quite overweight ( a good term for an adolescent with type 1 diabetes, really does heaps for the way you feel about yourself and the fitting in with everyone that can be so hard for young people with diabetes), fat (an often said term by young men when out and about as a young woman who is overweight and does wonders for your self esteem- not), overweight (the doctor when you hop on the scales – why do ALL doctors, even those to whom weight is irrelevant in their job ask you to get on the damn scales?), obese (now this one hits home hard when you have had your first baby and in response to post natal depression and a total lack of ability to control type 1 diabetes post baby and breastfeeding for the first time, you eat yoursefl silly) and finally “curvy” (by a loving husband that wants something to hang onto!)

As a now 43 year old woman who is proud of having had 3 beautiful children despite type 1 diabetes, still has her own legs, eyes and kidneys and is travelling well despite a number of health issues, I am trying to embrace my body. Yes I am still carrying weight from my now 2 year old son, but I am trying hard to love my body and thus myself.I am also a lover of chocolate and having given up many foods during my life long battle, I have now given this up – maybe it is temporary, maybe this week I will break and have some, who knows?

Here is the dialogue – “If I can just l lose 5 kilos….10 kilos…..life will be so much better, I will feel so good” – sound familiar??

But will it? And how much will I go through to get there? Is this yet another trick that keeps us ever yearning for more? Like the need for shiny shiny cars, houses and designer babies, is the battle of the fat just another part of this mythological perfect life?

Wouldn’t it be nice if life were simply about nothing but life? You know what  I mean? Like getting up and getting food for the day, hunting and gathering and storing this, spending time with your people, looking after the fire and keeping things safe – maybe life like it is on “Survivor” is what we humans are really all about.

As a person with type 1 diabetes, losing weight means constant vigiliance on the carbohydrates, to reduce insulin and thus lose weight; constant vigilance on the insulin to deal with hypos not wanted but commonly coming as carbs and weight drop off; constant vigilance to deal with exercise made pointless in the weight loss battle by those nasty hypos….and many many choices. Weight, fat and body become all consuming in an attempt to stop consuming.

At the moment, each time I eat I am trying to see it as a choice. I can choose to have processed foods, chocolate and the things that tend to become habitual for me and which tell me that they “make me feel good” – what a lie that is, such a temporay high! OR I can choose to have some fresh fruit, light crackers, a handful of nuts, sugar free jelly and low fat yoghurt, a large salad and some fish – and really genuinely feel good about that, if not a little deprived.

The problems come when this has to be maintained in the long run to keep the weight at bay and as I get older this gets harder.

So here I sit cup of tea in hand, bowl of strawberries and cherries beside me, hoping that chocolate will not rear its head this week and that I can stay off the scales for a day – seems the battle will continue….let’s see if I can be happy with wherever I am today, here and now, alive and lucky, slightly pudgy, somewhat fat, a little bit overweight, not necessarily obese, cuddly and curvy, a wonderful survivor and definitely, most definitely, happy.

The art of diabetes management

We all know that science underpins diabetes don’t we? That billions of dollars are spent worldwide researching the causes, possible cures and treatment options for diabetes. That there are millions of scientists and health care professionals working hard in the diabetes field, far and wide, across the world. And that there is a precise science to the way people with diabetes must manage each and every day of their lives. Once you get diabetes, life revolves around numbers, graphs, counting, measuring, working things out and navigating the all the ways that daily life affects diabetes and vice versa.

This is all true and all so vital.

But is it just a science?

I am starting to think perhaps it is actually an art.

Having lived with type 1 diabetes for 32 years now and working in diabetes for a decade I know a lot about the science and maths of diabetes. At school I hated maths and was not that keen on science, except for chemistry which I saw as a sort of “art” anyway! I remember how much I dreaded getting to year 9 science where I knew they would make us dissect a rabbit ( not sure they do this anywhere now!) and being in the country the boys came in with a live rabbit in a hession bag and proceeded to kill it on the spot. At which point I took my leave and made a stand for my belief that this was not a necessary learning experience!

Arts were my thing – drama, visual arts, painting, drawing, multi media, singing, music and literature – were the things that kept me alive and to this day, bring me much of the joy in my life. In recent years I have spent time learning to sing properly and have just started a visual arts course at university after many years of wanting to do this. It has started me thinking more and more about the importance of the arts in our lives as human beings.

It has also started me thinking about how art could be entwined with diabetes. Hence the “art of diabetes management”.

Think about it – one of the definitions of “art” is “a superior skill that you can learn by study and practice and observation; “the art of conversation”; “it’s quite an art”

I strongly feel that learning how to manage diabetes is a “superior skill that you learn by study and practice and obeservation” and that managing to live with this disease is “quite an art”!

Extending on this idea I started thinking about the use of art in a therapeutic sense. Most people have listened to their favourite piece of music or song when they want to feel relaxed, or excited, uplifted, romantic and every other emotion in between. We have all laughed, cried, been scared and engrossed in film and theatre; many people play an instrument, sing, dance, read, write or paint, in their “spare” time.

So it seems “art” is woven through most of our lives in some way and is directly connected to our emotions and our wellbeing.

In a more formal sense art has been used in therapy for many years and can form a powerful part of dealing with problems in our lives.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Art_therapy

And in fact people have taken this into specific diseases and illnesses such as diabetes!

http://arttherapyfordiabetes.blogspot.com/

http://www.diabetes.co.uk/alternative-treatment/Diabetes-Colour-Music-Art-therapy.html

http://www.diabetesmine.com/2010/08/art-therapy-for-diabetes-what-the-heck.html

The artist in me is jumping with delight at the idea of taking diabetes management out of the science arena and into the arts!! No more mice and rabbits!!!!!!!

So to celebrate this, we at Diabetes Counselling Online www.diabetescounselling.com.au are launching “The art of diabetes management” on our website in preparation for an “art exhibition” online at our site for world diabetes day on 14th November 2010

We aim to get as many people as possible to submit their “art” in any form, which tells a story about their experiences of life with diabetes.

So start your project now – it may be a photograph of something that relates to your diabetes, a painting, sculpture or drawing (take a photo so we can upload it to the site), video, ( we can load via our YouTube channel) poem, story, piece of music etc etc – whatever form of expression works for you and tells people some of the story about your or your loved ones diabetes and how you manage each and every day. We will share it on Facebook and Twitter to get the word out there too.

You can email us on support@diabetescounselling.com.au to ask questions and to submit art work at any stage between now and 14th November 2010. We will soon be adding a page for this so stay tuned

The philosophy on the art of diabetes is

At moments of great enthusiasm it seems to me that no one in the world has ever made something this beautiful and important.
::: M.C. Escher :::

We are all important so share your story with the world!

Yours in art and diabetes

Helen



What’s it all about anyway? Or don’t sweat the small stuff

I got to thinking the other day about life. I know, deep…..but from time to time lately (must be getting into my 40’s surviving 30 years of type 1 diabetes plus having teenagers and a toddler) I have really started to ponder this.

Living with a chronic disease or life threatening illness can really put you in a headspace where you start to question what life is all about. Many people talk about realising what is really important when faced with their own mortality. In particular when there is shortened life expectancy; daily impact from their condition and/or chronic pain – there is often a real impact on the way we view and live, life.

In these fast paced, competitive, money focussed “me” times of the human race, it is all too easy to get caught up in the idea that life is all about what you can get out of it.  We see that we need to get the latest “iPad”; “Blu Ray”; Widescreen TV; sports car; bigger house and so on – but we miss the point that these things do not make us happy.

People then seem to pass this message on to their kids so early – little ones are taken to 4 different classes each week – you know, music, dance, sport, extra tuition – all driving towards the ultimate goal of being a “celebrity”, being “rich”, “successful” and supposedly “complete”.

What people who have never faced a chronic or life threatening illness can fail to realise is that at the end of their lives none of this will matter and none of this will be of any consequence to anybody at all. What will matter will be the people we have touched in our lives, the impact we have had on other human beings, the experiences we have had in our short lives (in comparison to the universe) and the way in which we lived these lives. That is what we have put in to life.

In my opinion a life lived graciously, generously, with joy and passion and connected to other human beings on this amazing planet – is FAR more valuable and treasured than one lived to excess…

Looking at the universe and seeing all those planets out there, which at one stage of the history of our solar system may have been just like our earth and who knows, may have harboured “life”,  makes you realise that we are totally at the mercy of the environment in any case and that human history may one day end just the same way, perhaps becoming a planet of gas and volcanic activity, viewed from space by a new and emerging life form.

Who knows, anything is possible – just look at the miracle of a new baby and you can see this.

Yes I have just become an Aunty for the second time (yay!) and it never ceases to amaze me how a baby is created and born – nothing short of a miracle.

Living with a chronic disease such as diabetes can also make your view of life become very insular, very focussed on how horrible you feel today, how hard it is, how unfair it is – this then makes life seem very small and hopless.  If we can take some steps back and look at the bigger picture of life, this is where diabetes (or whatever you have to manage) can seem smaller and the possibilities of life, depsite this disease, can loom large and joyful.

When you feel anger rising because your teenager did not clean their room, do their washing or turn out the light; when you become stressed because your house is a mess, or you have not had a chance to tick off all the things on your “to do” list; when you scream at the car in front of  you for going too slowly – just try to stop, breathe and remember that every minute lived is a gift – and that it is in your control to shift the way you feel about all of these daily pressures to ensure a happier and more peaceful ride, no matter what challenges you face.

Holidays, life and taking a break

What is a holiday? Does it have different meanings and bring up different images for different people? I think the answer is a resounding “yes” and “no”. We all have shared ideas and images about holidays. There are the traditional shared holidays and there are also shared ideas about the ultimate holiday. Maybe it is skiing on a powder white slope; lazing on a golden sunny beach under a palm tree; hiking in bushland; an eco holiday; rail journey or cruise – whatever the word “holiday” conjures up for you, there will be many dreams, memories, emotions and plans centering around the idea of a “break”.

In order for this to work we need to be taking a “holiday” from something. For most of us this involves ‘getting away from it all”; spending time with family and friends; “hitting the road” and exploring the many twists and turns of a new place. We are so focussed on work and the everyday grind that holidays have become a formal part of our lives and one which many of us spend our time working for. A classic Aussie dream is to retire and become a “grey nomad” – hitching up the rig to finally get out an “live life for real”. This saddens me as the “for real” is the everyday – it is what happens from the minute you wake up, to the minute you go to bed and even the sleeping part. This is our lives and holidays form an important part of our lives.

So why are holidays so prized, dreamt about and planned? Think about someone on a game show, what is one of the main things they want to win? Either a holiday or money to go on one. This holiday thing is the big time when it comes to something we are all working to achieve.

My thoughts are that holidays are full of “down time”; are often spent with those we love the most; are often taken without the usual hustle and bustle of every day life; often take us away from our technological dependence (although nowadays this is not so true); allow us to go with what we feel we want to do with our time, rather than what we think we have to do; are full of happy and exciting memories; are often taken in exotic or distant places.

However there are also those holidays which are taken close to home, perhaps at the family shack or caravan park; are taken over a few short days and don’t cost the earth. In fact those types of holidays are often some of the best.

To me the important thing is the time spent savouring life. The time spent slowing down, stopping to “smell the roses”, enjoy family and friends and the world around us. Even if we have the old family arguments, stress and the predictable travel problems such as travel sickness, mess ups with arrangements, missed or delayed flights, language barriers and an array of other problems especially when overseas, the ultimate memory of a holiday is usually positive.

To me, part of the pleasure of a holiday is the planning. Working out when and where you will travel to; where you will stay and what you want to do with the time, even if this is “nothing at all”!The rest of the joy is in the doing, and then the remembering……

I have so many memories of holidays – as a toddler camping in a 2 man tent with my parents in the bush; as a child traipsing around Europe with my hippy backpacking and (crazy) parents dragging a 2 year old and 7 year old all over the world; as a teenager (grumpy but secretly thoroughly enjoying) holidays to places like New Zealand and Fiji, as well as travelling around Australia; as an adult being so lucky to go to Italy and South Africa for work with my Mum in tow (these memories are absolute gold despite fraught airport moments and robberies!); and taking my own family on so many holidays – to the beach shack a few hours away, the caravan park in my home city, interstate to forests and beaches and theme parks and road trips, and most recently to beautiful Brisbane where mum, Maxwell and I stayed in a wonderful old Queenslander and woke every morning to bird song and the warmth of the sun overlooking green in the middle of a city!

To me holidays form a major part of the threads of our lives.

I think that in life with diabetes we also need a “holiday” from it. If managing diabetes is like a job, then surely holidays and short breaks are just as vital to our continued diabetes management as holidays are to our lives?

How do we do this? We need to think about how we are travelling with our diabetes – are we ok with it, are there areas we could manage better, are there areas we are focussing on too much? Do we have problems that we need to sort out? Does the balance of where diabetes sits in our lives feel about right, or not? And how long since we have had a break?

Just like when planning your regular holidays or short breaks, even if all you do is take the occasional long weekend off work – you need to think about some regular breaks from diabetes. This does not mean stop looking after your diabetes. It just means allowing yourself premission to perhaps have a treat; not check blood glucose as often for a day or so; focus on other areas of your life for a bit; do some relaxation and self talk which helps you to put diabetes into a balanced state in your life – that there are many other parts of your life that are important.

Sometimes our health can become the focus of our lives. This can in turn make us “sick”. It is important to acknowledge that you are here, living every day – and that this is a gift. Taking a real holiday can be one way of helping you to take a break from diabetes and the stress it can bring.

Happy plannning!

Breathe in some fresh air and take time to see the sky

On the wire without a safety net…

Now I was thinking when I was away on my Easter beach holiday, about the thin line we can walk when we live with diabetes. Depending on the type of diabetes, how long you have lived with it, how you choose to manage and your own personal preferences and personality, you may or may not check your blood glucose.

If you are like me, type 1 for 30 years, on an insulin pump, live with erratic swings at times due to gastroparesis and a history of anxiety about hypos – then you probably check your blood glucose quite often, some may say even obsessively! The black marks and tough pads of my fingers are testament to this. I like to know what is happening inside my body, I like to be able to wake up with a reasonable blood glucose level if I can so I can eat without stress, to get through an exercise session without a hypo, to go out and about without feeling horrid from high or low levels and to care for my family without risk of anything going wrong due to my diabetes. In short, I like to feel in control. Unlike in my younger years I don’t like that crazy, heady feeling of being out of control – another sign of this is my decision to give up alcohol about 12 years ago.

Don’t get me wrong, this has not always been the case. When I got diabetes home blood glucose monitoring was not even happening. It came in shortly afterwards and the machine was huge by todays standards and required a squillion steps, washing and drying the testing strip and waiting for what seemed like an eternity. In my teen years and young adulthood I can not say I checked my blood glucose that often, I really don’t remember, but it was certainly not central to my life like it is now.

Is that a good thing, bad thing or bit of both, this checking often??? I think it is a bit of both for me. I do think that feeling compelled to check often can result in over correcting if you are not careful and also puts your blood glucose in front and centre all the time. But for me, this is usually not a bad thing.

So here is a little story about this reliance on a piece of machinery, how important it can become in your life and how scared you can become if it disappears…On the weekend I had planned to go to the local seaside markets about 10 minutes away from our beack shack. We were all very excited about this adventure. We bundled all the kids and granny into the car and arrived with high expectations about treasure hunting and finding local goodies. My blood glucose had of course been high that morning (it’s like it just knows) and I wanted to keep a close eye on it as I had given a bolus of insulin prior to leaving.

After about 30 minutes of wandering about I decided to check and see if I could have a snack or two…..(the smell of BBQ and donuts was overwhelming). A blanket of dread came over me, (not because my bag is such a mess), but as I looked I realised my blood glucose monitor was not in my bag – horror! I looked and looked, you know when you think something should be there and it isn’t? How you go over and over the same ground?

To add to this feeling of falling from a great height with no safety net, I could not see my hubby and kids, or my mum, so decided to head back to check the car, it had to be there.  Finding mum along the way I told her to look for the others and I hiked back up the hill to the car praying it was there. Of course when I go there, no machine. I searched and searched, then called Dad at the shack to see if he could find it. I headed back down the hill by this time little tears were starting – tears of frustration that even after 30 years diabetes can bite me any time it likes.

I still could not see my family and was getting pretty upset by this stage. Logically I knew I was not in too much trouble but at times I find it hard to pick up a hypo after all these years so this was at the back of my mind despite rationalising with myself. Asking around the stalls to no avail, I found Mum and she headed off to look for my family.

I too walked up and down and finally we all found each other, but still no machine. Of course we decided to head back. Everyone had had enough in any case but the wet blanket of my diabetes was very present. Luckily I had a back up machine at the shack – always a good idea to have more than one, especially when you go away. And as mum also has diabetes there are usually plenty to go around!

So, back at the shack, still no machine. We did wonder about my toddler jhiding it as he has a history of this – once deciding to hide Mummy’s machine under the skirt of a soft toy mouse standing at Grandma’s front door – it was just the genius of my ever toddler thinking dad who looked under her skirt and discovered it!

So I decided it was just lost and that was that. Mum however wanted to crack the case and she went back later and yes, some lovely person had found it and handed it in to the local tourist office. Everyone she spoke to knew all about diabetes as most of them had it! I was glad to have it back and wondered what adventure it had been on while away from me, had some random person used it to check their blood? Had it seen anything interesting on the market stalls, as I sure had not had time to look! Perhaps it had found a treasure and tried to tell me but I had been too busy to notice…

Looking back on this couple of hours of my life it may seem strange to some people, to feel so stressed by this experience. I know lots of people who would go out for the day and not check their blood glucose at all. The thing for me is that I would have lost the control that is so important to me, if I could not check to see the trends of my blood glucose.

And that is the moral of this story – it is your diabetes, you are the person most affected by it so stand up for the ways you want to do this and don’t judge yourself or other people who choose to do it differently.

Oh and bring on the artifical pancreas and let’s hope you can padlock it to your body so it is not possible to lose it at a seaside fair!

The dark side of normality

Have you ever felt like you didn’t “measure up”, didn’t quite “cut the grade”? Perhaps you felt “not good enough” or inadequate or worthless? Maybe a sense you just didn’t have it “all together” as you would like, or you dropped the bundle? This is how Michael White, the founder of Narrative Therapy,  once described the way that people may feel if affected by a sense of “personal failure” ….

The idea of “normality” is fairly new. It is also very powerful. It provides us with the criteria check lists by which we measure and compare ourselves and our “success” in life. Normality can sometimes work for us and sometimes, against us. Ideas about what is “normal” can isolate people and groups of people and give power to those who live their lives within this idea of “normality”. It also leads to us picking up invitations to feel like “failures”. Guilt gets a big part to play as well when we feel we “should” be, act, think, a certain way “or else”.

These ideas can also be used to diminish people on the basis of cultural or spiritual practices, sexuality and physical and mental health and ability.

The idea of “normality” can be interesting to consider in the light of living with something like diabetes. What is a “normal diabetic”?  How do we (and others) judge ourselves and the way we manage and sometimes don’t manage our diabetes. Sometimes it is just too hard so no wonder.

The word “normal” actually comes from the Latin or French word for the carpenter’s square, or normal angle! So we may ask ,what has that got to do with us? It was only in the 19th century that the word “normal” began to be used to in relation to people and their actions, rather than just to angles.

In recent times the idea of what is “normal” is applied to just about anything !- we are judged on our height, weight, clothes, body shape, child rearing, house and garden, time taken to grieve or adjust to something like diabetes, how angy and happy we are etc etc etc

There are many places in public arena such as our popular media for example, where ideas are created which are tempting for us to measure ourselves against. Just pick up any women’s magazine; home rennoavtion mag,  or watch all the advertisements on tv.

Lists about what is “normal” also abound!

The idea of what is normal is also constantly changing – we have developed so many ways of measuring our “normality” and we then equate this to what we are worth – it means we are “worthwhile” or “worthless” depending on how “well” we are doing against all of these “lists”.

For example

1. finished school (oh and went to the right school)

2. got a good job and/or went to uni

3. got married

4. had kids

5. built a house

6. got a 4 wheel drive!

7. have lots of family holidays

8. Have an HbA1c of 6 % all the time and no diabetes complications

8. have a tidy house

9. kept my figure and regularly go to the gym

This may be one person’s list by which they measure their worth…and what a list!

This leads to a sense of not being “good enough” or being a “failure” being very easy to fall into – if not fitting into what is expected, we can be overwhelmed by what can be called the “normalising gaze”.

So have a think about what lists and ideas are in your life that may actually lead you to feeling bad about yourself and falling into the trap of “failure” –

In my mind – there is NO normal – we are all beautiful and all unique

appreciate the beauty around you and your own beauty and uniqueness

Diabetes and eating disorders – overcoming the dangerous beast

We speak to lots of people living with body image problems and eating disorders – both type 1 and type 2 diabetes. Many people with type 2 diabetes struggle with binge eating and body image issues; people with type 1 diabetes have double the rates of eating disorders and find that the issues of weight management and control of their diabetes get intertwined – a dangerous mix.

Below is a story from one of our members about her journey with these issues.

http://www.diabetescounselling.com.au/communicate/your_stories/story2.html

“I have had diabetes for 19 years now, since the age of 8. When I was 14, I trialled the newest insulin pen which allowed the injection of short acting insulin just prior to each meal, thus mimicking a normal bodies response to food intake. Because of the flexibility this gave me, I gained a lot of weight eating the things I had never before been allowed to eat. When year 12 rolled around, and I had lost the weight that I had gained two years earlier, I was unable to stop dieting. My weight reached 28 kilos and I made my way through university at that level, interspersed by lots of hospitalisations.

I suffered severe anorexia for 5 years. Life was hell. I was always freezing cold, had a fine coat of downy hair on my body, stopped menstruating (not that it was something I missed!!), my hair fell out and my skin and finger nails were dry and brittle. When I was admitted to the Children’s Hospital at 17, I hadn’t eaten properly for nearly 6 months. I was taking no short acting insulin and was surviving on less than half my “normal” dose of long acting. I was also constantly hypo, hovering around 2, 24 hours a day.

The doctor decided to put me onto a dextrose drip and this caused me no end of trauma thinking they were force-feeding me. It took quite a lot to calm me down. After 5 years, something made me turn around and I began eating again but this time I would purge after bingeing: bulimia . My weight ballooned to 90 kilos and with it came depression. Bulimia was much harder to cure because no one knew you had a problem. I began stil life modelling.

Although my weight had dropped to 80 kilos, I still felt pretty uncomfortable with myself but my friend assured me that artists enjoyed curvy figures, not stick thin people whose ribs were showing. And thus started a beautiful thing. My self esteem rose as I realised it didn’t matter what size you were, you are still beautiful. Those artists made me look like the Reubens models – curvaceous, glowing and happy. At times it was confronting to see how different people saw me, and men always painted me larger than what the women did, but it also allowed me to become strong in the knowledge that what they saw was neither judgmental nor critical.

While I was anorexic, although my HbA1c was very low at around 5, I suffered some of the problems that are more often associated with higher HbA1cs. I experienced some retinopathy, which was frightening for someone only 22 years of age. This didn’t repair during my bulimia either. But since I have been fully recovered, the ophthalmologist can see absolutely no evidence of it left. It is pretty amazing what the human body can suffer and still come good again.

The only problems that remained were my reflux, which had to be fixed with surgery to create an artificial valve to prevent the stomach acids rising; some tooth decay, because the stomach acids eroded the teeth when I was vomiting; and my hair is not as thick as it used to be. My weight has dropped to 68 kilos – spot on the recommended weight range – and I still get plenty of work modelling. It allows me to meditate and I thoroughly enjoy the classes. And do you know, men are easier to model for than women!!!

I now consider myself fully recovered and enjoy a healthy diet and exercise regime. The women who counselled me through the difficult time were my GP and Friend, Dr Jenny Thomas (thanks Jenny) and Vonnie Coopman who runs a very successful clinic at the Blackwood Hospital in Adelaide . Vonnie has suffered with both anorexia and bulimia also and her own experiences have helped many sufferers. Even with the knowledge of what can happen to the body, I am not sure it would have stopped me from going through these eating disorders. Anorexia was my way of asserting my authority and control over a life that I felt I had no control over – my life was being run by well-meaning parents who controlled my food intake and insulin as best they could.

Our relationship between food and the human body and its psyche is amazing. The amount of research going into this is mind boggling.”

There are organisations that provide support for people affected by eating disorders throughout Australia: Queensland – 07 3876 2500 Victoria – 03 9885 0318 NSW – 02 9412 4499 SA – 08 8212 1644 WA – 08 9221 0488 Tasmania – 03 6222 7222

EdTalk is an email discussion group for people affected by eating disorders. You can find it at http://www.uq.net.au/eda

Eating Disorders Australia has a website at http://www.eatingdisorders.org.au

Diabetes problem solving

Here is an excerpt from our current newsletter http://www.diabetescounselling.com.au/communicate/newsletter.html

We get many people contacting us for personal counselling and support. Often people have similar concerns and stories. We will share some of these with you each edition. We welcome your feedback and comments which we will also publish in the newsletter.

QUESTION “I have had type 2 diabetes for the past 3 years and am struggling with my weight. I know what to do, but putting it into action is so hard, especially when I am also dealing with depression. Because I’ve lost some weight I start to think “I deserve a treat, everyone else can have one”. This then turns into a real binge & then I hate myself and feel like there is no point going on with it now. I just get so down and it seems all too hard…..”

RESPONSE -” This is a common problem. Many people struggle with their weight and when you have type 2 diabetes it can be even harder. However it is entirely possible to lose weight and you have done really well in the weight loss you have achieved so far. Depression can make weight management harder and they are connected. What we want to aim for is long term weight management in a healthy way. Even a 5% weight loss can have a big impact on your health. It might be possible for you to include some built in treats, so you do not feel like you are missing out – this works for some people. Others say once they start a certain food they can not stop. Losing “black and white” thinking and learning to think in more “shades of gray” can help. Many people take an “all or nothing” approach, which leads to a cycle of starting and stopping with their weight management and to then lowered wellbeing. Learning “grey thinking” and how to be gentle on yourself can help. By doing this, you lessen the guilt which helps to stop the cycle of depression and binge eating.”

QUESTION – “My partner has type 1 diabetes and su ers with anxiety about hypos. This means he keeps his blood glucose levels high, to avoid a hypo. I am really worried about the impact this is having on him and our chances of having children. He has never spoken or met anyone else with type 1 diabetes before. I have tried to talk to him about this problem, but he just says it is his diabetes and how could I understand what it is like to have a hypo? He works in a high pressure job and I am so worried that this problem is leading to me also su ering with anxiety. I have been sick a lot and have not been able to sleep lately. Please help.”

RESPONSE  “Anxiety about hypos is a common problem. The symptoms of a hypo can be very distressing and di£ cult to manage. It is hard to explain to someone who has not had a hypo, what it really feels like. Keeping the blood glucose levels higher on the odd occasion is not a problem, but you are right in that an extended period of high levels could lead to diabetes complications and it is important to manage this problem. Watching someone you care about struggling is very stressful but as he is an adult you can not force him to make changes, or seek help. I think it might be really helpful for him to talk to someone else with diabetes as a starting point, so he can see he is not the only person to feel this way. Developing strategies for managing his diabetes at work to avoid a hypo, whilst still maintaining healthy blood glucose levels is important. There are a range of things he can do, such as looking at his current management regime and seeking a review of this. Learning anxiety management techniques such as relaxation and breathing cycles, can really help. If he is open to this, I suggest you refer him to our website so he can chat with other people with diabetes. You can also access this support for yourself.”